Explore the Reality!

I have understood that people are so different. The differences that we have is because of the the difference in our thoughts. I look at this genetically. We are what our genes are! I am a female because I have the genes. I am an over-thinker because it is in my genes. I have a problem of anxiety, this is in my genes. I am what my genes are! But there's so much more to what we get in our heredity. Did you ever get a chance to realize? Do you have power enough to realize this? Realization is the most constructive and most destructive weapon you can have. My upbringing and experiences differ than what you've got and that makes us to see the world differently. I remember how I used to be in school. I was always happy because I couldn't see anyone who could make me sad. Because I didn't give anyone enough importance to come in my way of comfort. I was arrogant and I knew it was wrong, but I didn't realize what difference it would make if I'm not. I couldn't...

It has been an year I am living without my family. When I left my home, I was very excited. I remember around 3 in the morning, it was utter dark. My flight was around 6 AM. I wanted to go alone but Indian parents would never let a girl go alone when she is actually going to shift to a new city. My mum was so sleepy that she slept in the car, my dad was just worried counting the number of my bags, my brother was worried about our dog back home alone and wanted to drop us as soon as he can and I was constantly smiling while looking at the empty sky. I'm not sure if you would understand the excitement of a kid who is going to be independent soon. I was scared, I was excited, I was happy, I was surprised, I had every emotion at that moment. I have been wondering so long now about this fact, life keeps on giving us so many adventures. I have had been with a number of personalities since my school days and now when I look at them, everything's changed so much. There were pe...

Have you ever tried to sit under the moon, in complete silence, when there's no one watching, no one talking, it is all so silent and so real! Have you ever tried to understand what is going on with you, what is running in your life, where is your energy getting utilized. Have you also ever tried to recall all your mistakes and analyse what bad you've to go through to compensate! Again, Have you ever tried to still believe in yourself that you deserve the good and happy moments and that you're guilty for your mistakes! Did you? I had. I had done this a several times. These thoughts keep me sleepless for so long. Each passing second feels like this is the extreme point of trouble you can go through. I used to believe running away from people and situations like these is the best you can do to save yourself from these thoughts. At least you wouldn't ever have it to think about it. Right? Or, probably just escape out of these things because somewhere you believe...

For all those who thought that losing something in life would cause them a long time of misery, disappointment and sadness. I remember my time when I lost my dog! I remember those 10 days of my first ever vacation without my family, when all that I planned was every minute of it to be fun. When I made sure that my dog was all well treated before I fly out of the city. I wanted to be so sure about her to be alright. I never knew she would die the next day. I never had even imagined. I even remember those cold conversations that I had with my mother about her being admitted to a pet’s hospital, also when I used to send pictures to my papa but he wouldn’t reply. Also the time when they were lying since the first day of my vacation just that other 9 days shouldn’t be ruined. I knew there was something wrong, I knew there’s something that i am unaware of, but never expected it to be her death. I even remember my scream and cry after stepping in 10 days later and reali...

Does this happen to you suddenly when you escape out in a world where you start thinking about all those little minor facts that just got ignored overtime. Those, that just got adjusted somewhere, it went flowing, just like that. Life is a chase, chase of dreams, chase of feelings, chase of goals, chase of money, chase of values and what not. All these years, we are just chasing some or the other thing. Did you realise this?  When you were a kid, you were chasing your imagination, when you were a teenager, you were chasing your goal, when you grew up to an adult, you were chasing settlement. Did we ever attain what we were trying to chase? Ever? Anything? Did you conquer your imagination? Did you get satisfied with your goal? Did you find settlement?  Aren't we hustling all our lives? And for what? The chase? The chase that we might never settle with, the chase that we might never be satisfied with, the chase that actually keeps on changing overtime. I wish everyone c...

I grew up in a nuclear family. I had no one but only my mother, father and brother to look upon. I remember my childhood, I remember those summer holidays, I remember those mornings and also those noons that I spent with my family. I remember how dominant I used to be over my little brother. All those mornings when I used to stand at the window to wave my papa when he used to leave for work. Every other evening when exactly at 8:00, I used to stand at the same window waiting for  him to come home. I am lazy when it comes to kitchen work,  but back then I was the most curious child to make chapatis. My maa, giving me just a single chance to attempt a perfect chapati, which almost all the time, I failed! I can never forget those video game sessions. Me and my brother used to play video games the whole day. Maa used to scold us for being infront of tv whole day long, but we never listened to her. But then I also remember how exactly at 7:30, just before papa's time to come bac...

I remember the lesson about Anne Frank that I learnt in my 9th grade, I guess. And I also remember the mark that it left on my mind, still intact but with increased effectivity. I remember all the thoughts that were dwelling in my mind, then. I remember the view of my classroom when I was learning about her. I remember it all, so well, that it still feels like yesterday. Such wonder, isn't it? All those things that imprint such deep marks in your life, even when the moments leave, that imprint doesn't fade away, rather it gets deeper and deeper with time. I am no less fan of her, even today. I see people around me, biggest fans of a certain actor or some others who die to get a single ticket of a certain pop concert. I find myself out of the crowd to tell people that one of my ultimate dream is to visit Anne Frank's museum in Amsterdam. Strange? I am no different until I decide to open up my thoughts and vision to people, that's when I feel like I'm so not among ...

I remember the times when I was in school, in 8th grade may be, and that's when I used to write all shitty stuff in my head on a paper whenever I had a free period. I also remember how I used to stare outside the window in those boring history lectures, and how I used to wonder about the rules of living life! I used to think how life would have been if I was in that era teacher was talking of. I was a very non-attentive kid all my life, I never took interest in what was being taught in the school unless and until I had the encounter of teachers giving me remarks for being non attentive and sleepy. I had always been a brilliant student whenever I took my studies seriously. There always was a time when I used to think of how I would look after 10 years, where I would stand when I'll be an adult. My life was and is full of these thoughts. Right from when I was a little kid, I had lived a life of fantasy. Thinking of me and my life out of the practical scenario. I was a day drea...

People often say that life has no meaning if there's nothing tough to deal with. Life is no fun, if it is easy, they say. I indeed agree with this. Life's definition in itself means the tough and good times. Life couldn't be resolved better than expressing it as a summation of all the good and bad things that happen to us. There's no person on this Earth who has not been through hardships, I bet! But, are there few of those moments, on a random day, at a random moment when you feel like everything in your life is a failure and there's just no end to the tough times? Do you feel that? These are the times when you feel bad about being yourself, when you feel there's nothing that can heal the pain inside you. There are these times in your life, it may or may not have a reason but its just there. You get the pain for being yourself. You blame yourself and you feel like you shouldn't be  the kind of person you are. This happens. These are those moments when y...

Did you encounter it? We always talk about and judge people for how they behave and what they are. Being at the second end of the story and cursing the storyline is such an easy and no costing job to do, right? But, did any person ever in this life attempt to see how things actually work? Didn't get that? We all are different beings and all of us possess different qualities. Likewise, every single person has his/her own thought process. We judge people and its simply because we consider what we think is right, not what others think!  Meeting people, talking to them, understanding them made me realise that there's not only one or two ends of the story but also an ambiguous side which will always be left unanswered. Elaborating this, first side stays with the doer, that one person who had his/her own set of reasons for being into the situation. The second side stays with that one person who is liable to judge, who sees the whole situation depending on his/her thought proc...

You still believe? Do you? I always end up asking this question, very often when I realise I failed again in expecting. I pretty well know everyone had been in a situation where they face their expectations being broken and crushed in a miserable way. It hurts, isn't it? Very bad? Well if any person asks me this same question, I'll always have an explanation ready for it. We live in a world where we are surrounded by people. I won't ever use the terminology "humans" for the people around us, because it depends on how they behave whether they are one amongst the people or a human. When it comes to expect, we expect from every person around us, ofcourse the intensity differs. Also the people expect from us. What matters is whether we understand the side of other person and are we good enough to be firm with it. I always say confidently that I understand others, quite a lot of times. But, where I fail is expressing it to them. But then I try to bring about the...

What do you want of yourself? Where do you see yourself in coming 10 or 15 years? What will you do when you have attained all that you have? Will you be happy then? Will you be contented? Is success everything that you want with your life? Is there anything else that you need to feel peace within? I come across these questions a lot of times. We spend whole of our lives proving our worth to the world, trying to show that we are no less, trying to be the other person. All of our time flies out of nowhere. The experiences that I've encountered tell me that there's no person and there's no thing that will make you feel perfectly flawlessly happy. Years pass, we come across so many people, and we try to know and understand each one of them. Sometimes, we judge too! But that is all a human can do. We try to mend a person, in accordance with what our will and comfort demands but it takes a long time to realise that it is not so easy unless the person on the other side happen...

Life is a maze where as much as you try to understand the way out, you keep on getting more and more puzzled. Did you come up with things in your life when you utterly regretted a certain situation or a certain phase? If yes, how did that make you feel? and does it do now? It is such a cruel gesture of yours to yourself to make you pass through a time period that shouldn't have ever happened. Regret comes in any form, and it is that extreme point of guilt when you cannot accept its existence and rather wish that it shouldn't have ever happened. Did you get over it? Does it feel like it will never be the same again? Yes, it does. It feels like its all ruined and there's no way out you can get through it. Life has all irreversible events, you can never go back in time and fix what had happened or make it any better. Things never get better with time, if I say so, I will be lying. The real fact is that you accept the things overtime and get habituated. You start worrying ...

I had been a kind person, not all my life but from the day I realised that being kind is the only way out to be happy inside out. I define kindness not what people do in charity, or when people donate money or when people donate clothes, accessories, etc,etc but the kindness that I'm referring to is something which lies within and something that rarely comes up to people. This kindness lies in every little gesture of a person, sometimes we lose it, that is when a person becomes arrogant. But being arrogant to someone is being kind to oneself, there's a reason why someone acts arrogantly to you. Every other way of the reaction that you get from people who are close to you or who may not be is a reflection of the type of gesture that you showed to them. It may not be sweet to accept every time, but this is where kindness comes, when you accept it with all your might and understand the side of other person. This kindness never reaches to the person on the other side of the pict...

Life can never be the same again. Once you know the motives, once you know where the things are heading, life can never be the same again. People say to focus on the positives, to count on what matters and leave what doesn't, but what if a single negative proves to be more heavier than all the positives done? All the ideal rules set for having a cheerful and not so complex life are too tough to practically put in. Experiences play a role in our life that no other thing can! I have always wondered if there's any way out of the experiences that you never want to have a place for. Of course, some things teach you certain facts that you never want to learn, never want to hold on. We do not hold the power to lead our lives the way we want, sometimes we have to be a part of situation that we had never thought of or we never wanted to be in. From all the experiences that knowingly or unknowingly OR wantedly or unwantedly OR good or bad in my sense, I have learnt that people aroun...

I always ended up focusing on the negatives. I wonder, why does a human mind always grasp everything that is negative and why couldn't we just focus on something that is actually needed! The positives! Why can't we look on the positive side of something? Negative holds a lot more power than the positive. The negative destroys everything that took years for the positive to build. Human pyschology seems like a maze for me, with so much of complications. There are number of thoughts that go on in our mind but we can never resolve the reason or understand the goods behind it. All these years that passed, a lot of incidences took place, some good, some bad and some that didn't have any such effect on the life, but all this made me understand that we cannot judge a person based on how our mind or psychology works. Every person is a deserving person for what he/she expects based on how his/her psychology demands. But what when a person cannot stand on our expectations? Expectat...

Do you remember the times when you used to laugh out loud? The times when worries had no place in the mind, the only friends we had were our parents, when waking up felt so enthusiastic and when each day was another start for a full new adventure! Do you remember it? Life had a wonderful meaning then, when there was no place for any reason to be upset about, when the world was unseen, when the people were unnoticed, when the intentions were hidden and when the cruelty didn't exist. Growing up feels like a burden. Sometimes I wonder, why did I ever grow up into an adult. Why can't I be the same little child for whom the biggest ever burden was to complete her homework. Why did I ever start thinking and understanding? May be, the only way to deal with the cruel world is to be one of them! Survival needs defeat of the other one. And defeating the other is to hurt them, to make them feel bad, and I don't want to do it. But then, I will have to lose, and it will be disappoi...

Everything seemed worth it, every pain, every effort, every thought, every second spent under depression, every single thing that was done. All the surprises planned, all the hard work to bring happiness, when being selfless felt so so good. Down the lane, when everything's remembered, a smile comes along, being satisfied that always good was done, everything was taken positively and everything was done in an attempt to make it last forever. But, what if it didn't last, even after doing all that could possibly be done, what if eventually nothing was left to count? People say and believe to live in the present, not to think about what had happened and what will happen. But living a life that has no future to think of, living a life that has no aim and ambition. being in a relationship that has no goal to reach or encounter, is this why we start with an association? Certainly a NO. Why doesn't it keep making sense for like forever? When we start it with a hope, why can...

Then I spent years wondering why people act so selfish? There's no favor in being it of course, being mean to other people around, does it give a sense of happiness? All these years of growing up into a mature person, I experienced things to prove the fact that an elderly person is more wise. A person who had been through all the even and odds is someone who takes the decision quite well. WE GROW AND PEOPLE CHANGE. Yes people change and they change in a very unexpected way. As we grow, we experience the mean motto of people, and when we do, it pinches somewhere. Do people really change or they were the same and we mistook to assume it something else? May be the answers to these questions are just not easy to find out, or may be the people we meet all these years throughout our lives are just not enough to make us experience the truth! Being a child, every other person appears beautiful and kind to us, every person who offers us a chocolate becomes the best for us. What if ...

And then suddenly I woke up in mid of the night, the feeling was not good. Heart beating fast, no peace to feel around. Everything was quiet, no sound, but I was in chaos. No explanation to this. When there's nothing as such depressing around you, but there's something still deficient? Everything's just going fine.Yes, Fine! And fine seems enough, isn't it? Being satisfied just in the ordinary. Ordinary is just being in the comfort zone but it for sure never means to be contented. An average human lives for around 75-80 years, and being just fine all these years is simply not what I want to do with my life. Happiness is what matters, not with others, not because of others, but because of me! If I am to live this life, I want to live it to the fullest. Not just live but make my life a mark for others. I want to fail, and I want it to be a number of times because I want my success to be much louder than any of my failures. I want to stay unsatisfied with my success,...